Pool of thoughts and futures
by Radical Whales
Summary: Set during the Clone Wars, Anakin comes home to Padme after being away in battle. He then has a dream about a possible future with his wife; family. Contains a small amount of Obi-Wan/ Anakin bromance and Ahsoka is mentioned.


*********Authors note**

 **My first fanfic on Anakin Skywalker hope you enjoy!**

 **It's got a little bromance with Obi-Wan/Anakin too AND**

 **Ahsoka is also mentioned so...**

 **Happy days!**

 **(Reviews are much appreciated :) )**

 **POOL OF THOUGHTS AND FUTURES**

* * *

He stood there in the middle of an all out battle reminiscing his time with his beloved. Lightsaber in his hand, drawn and ready to be sliced through the next droid who dared cross his path. But for once, he did not have that tingling sensation at the bottom of his stomach, nor did he have the upturn of his lips when he counted more droid eliminations than his young padawan Ahsoka Tano.

Yes he was Anakin Skywalker, the hero with no fear. But he didn't feel like a fearless warrior.

Not today, not tomorrow and especially not today.

It was exactly a month since he had seen his wife, the longest he had not seen her since their forbidden, secret marriage on her home planet Naboo. That was almost two years ago. He missed everything about her, from her chocolate brown hair and the scent of her skin, to the warm smile that lightened everyone around her. Those memories kept running through his mind on repeat, never failing to slow down or stop.

The rain was pouring down in streams now, making the ground beneath them turn to mud. Anakin became aware of the water cleansing his face and dripping off his dark blonde curls. Although the water washed him physically, it did no good in cleansing him spiritually. He truly believed he would remain broken forever, his soul tainted with the murders he committed in his mother's name. His other hand touched the scar on his face; ironically it was the metal arm that Dooku had sliced off all those years ago. Battle scars from a war that claimed so many.

How many more would be lost before one side would claim victory over the other?

Anakin suddenly noticed his padawan screaming his name. She was soaked from head to toe, cuts and bruises all over her body and her face worn and tired from a battle she knew was finally coming to an end. It was her bright blue eyes that got him every time. Full of hope and spirit, love and youth that he could see were slowly becoming plagued with the tragedies of war. Ahsoka had seen more that what any ordinary Jedi would see in their lifetime. He knew he was at fault for this, and he cursed himself every time for not being a better Master. Ahsoka deserved more than a man who himself felt like a lost boy.

"MASTER WOULD YOU MOVE ALREADY!" She finally pushed him over, just before a battle droid would have blasted him into smithereens.

"What is with you today Skyguy? You need to get your head back in this battle because there are men out there dying in your name! We need to win this battle, you know this is a crucial victory for the Republic!" Ahsoka demanded, looking at him with so much disappointment and confusion that it almost made him wince.

"It's just not a good day snips, someday you'll understand." He said wistfully. He did plan on telling Ahsoka about his wife Padme. Just not yet.

Then all at once, his hands were both on the lightsaber, smile plastered on and the battle droid in front of him was already in two halves.

* * *

It had been a victory. It was expected, nothing less, nothing more. All three of them were on a Republic battleship on the way to Coruscant. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin and Ahsoka. Finally they would be out of the outer rim and Anakin would see his beloved.

He had taken a seat in the middle of the main headquarters, not able to sleep. Subconsciously tapping his fingers on the glass screen table, his mind wandered. Obi-wan happened to walk in in that moment and saw Anakin's listless eyes. His face looked so sad, and lost, a side to Anakin that he had never seen before. Obi-wan blended in with the shadows for a few more moments just to see what he would do. He searched for Anakin's force signature but found nothing. It was obviously guarded.

"Why does it feel like something's always missing" Anakin muttered to himself, feelings of confusion practically rolling off him.

"Can't sleep either?" Obi-Wan finally stepped out of the darkness. Anakin looked shocked at first, but nonetheless accepted his company. He pointed to the stool next to him.

"Did you have another one of your dreams?" Obi-Wan asked carefully. He knew he was going into dangerous territory. Whenever he asked about them, Anakin would just about bite his head off. Yet on this one particular night Anakin's face softened.

"No not my mother dying… It was something different. Little glimpses-" He stopped suddenly, embarrassed. Obi-Wan edged him to go on.

"Little glimpses, like a pair of eyes. Someone screaming… almost as if a child was running away… then nothing. You don't think I will cause the death of an innocent, do you master?" He asked almost pleading.

"Was it a nightmare?" Obi-Wan said thoughtfully.

"Well, except the screaming no."

"Did you feel like you slept well?" He asked again, his hand feeling his chin with contemplation.

"Surprisingly yes" Anakin deemed.

Obi-Wan laughed.

"Anakin, I think it was just a dream, just like any ordinary life form would have. That child may have been one you might have encountered on one of our missions. Your subconscious thoughts can sometimes mix memories to form dreams. That nothingness is when you get a good night sleep. Have you really never had a dream?"

"I suppose I haven't had one in so long. Ever since my mother, it's been nothing but nightmares." He admitted.

"Enjoy it while you can. I suggest you go to bed. You've got nothing to worry about my very young apprentice."

Now it was Anakin's turn to laugh.

"Just when we're 'bonding' you have to go and call me a 'young apprentice'. Thanks old man" He rolled his eyes and started to drag himself to his sleeping quarters.

"Hey! I'm not that old." Obi-Wan said, offended.

"Now we're even." Anakin laughed again, his grin enough to set Obi-Wan's worries about his former padawan away.

* * *

"I can't believe my palms are sweating" Anakin muttered to himself. Why was he so nervous to see his wife again? _Because it's been so long_ he answered himself.

He was in the elevator to the place he called home. In a matter of moments, he would be able to see her, feel her soft skin, hold her face in his hands. It would be as if nothing else mattered but the love the two shared.

The elevator made a _ding_ sound and the doors opened. There she was standing in the middle of the hallway, unable to wait for him to come to their home. She looked exactly the way he imagined her; chocolate brown hair in ringlets around her shoulders, eyes wide with love, and a huge smile that lit up his world.

They ran to each other and their lips collided in a series of passion, lust and love all at once. No words could express the heartache they felt from being away from each other; it was indescribable, beyond words. Finally when they had to take a breath, Anakin tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I love you." He told her, his heart and soul were pouring out of him and into her own.

She smiled and played with a piece of his hair that was covering his beautiful blue eyes.

"I love you." She said simply and plainly because it was so obvious.

They kissed again and made way to their room, shutting the door behind them.

* * *

The recurring dream Anakin had been having finally had made sense with Padme's presence beside him.

It didn't start with those pair of eyes, black and white with no colour; it started with a vast green field full of rich, bold hues. The field was covered with abundant grass and exotic flora, overlooking a glistening lake. It reflected the heat of the sun on an early summer's day.

Anakin recognised this place almost immediately; Naboo.

A child screamed, but not in fear. In delight.

Anakin turned to see a girl, no older than four years old, running toward him in full sprint. Her summer dress was pure white, the colour of winter snow and was just past her knees. Her scraggly auburn curls looked wild, as were her blue eyes. She was barefoot, and weedy, although she appeared strong.

"Catch me daddy! Catch me!" She laughed and flung herself onto Anakin. Anakin laughed along with her and spun her around in a circle. She held her arms out like she was flying, and closed her eyes to allow herself to feel the moment.

Anakin didn't question why this girl called her his father. In his dream he was fully aware of her being a part of his life.

Anakin held her at eye level and noticed her eyes were the exact same shade as his, and her face was almost a spitting image of Padme.

"Don't let the spinach man catch you or he'll turn you to the dark side!" She giggled. That was the main aim of the game. It was a game of chase; and the tagger was called 'The Spinach Man.' Anakin felt a strange chill, as if his daughter was telling him something.

Almost as if on cue, Padme walked onto the scene, smiling at Anakin who held their daughter in his arms.

"Mummy's home from work!" The girl clapped her hands together, thrilled.

"Always tell your best friend anything daddy. Your best friend loves you forever and ever. Why would you hurt your best friend?" She told him seriously and jumped down from him and into her mother's arms. It was another message for sure.

Anakin walked over and kissed Padme's head and then his daughter's. He became aware that Padme was also wearing white.

"I thought about you at work today." Padme tells him.

"What about?" He asks, the first words he had spoken since he entered the dream.

"How much you trust me to tell me everything in that head of yours. My work mate just got a divorce because of trust issues. I'm glad we've never had that problem"

"Me too"

Another chill.

They kissed, and the girl made a frown in disgust.

"Yucky" She said and the two parents laughed.

After a short while, the three of them lay down on the grass, the girl in the middle of her two parents. As she drifted off to sleep, Anakin tucked her wild hair behind her ear, just as he did to Padme.

"Daddy will win the game tomorrow won't he? He won't turn to the dark side?" She mumbled.

"Daddy will win. Daddy always wins." He whispered in her ear. She gave a grin in reply, content with his answer.

The dream faded into white.

And then there was a peaceful darkness, and Anakin enjoyed it as Obi-Wan told him too.

* * *

It was the late morning when he woke up, and he realised that he hadn't stirred not once in his slumber.

"You had a good sleep." Padme noted as she popped her head around the corner of the bedroom.

"Yeah, I had a dream that we had a daughter. It was very weird, but strangely content. I've finally understood that what's missing from my life is family. I've always wanted a family, because except my mother, I've never really had one" Anakin said, still groggy from the morning, but felt as wise as master Yoda.

Padme was stunned.

"You want kids?"

"I've always imagined something like that in our future." He told her truthfully.

She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it.

"I've always wanted kids as well. Especially a boy, who looks just like you." She gushed, walking over and sitting next to him.

Anakin rubbed his eyes and laughed.

"Well I've always wanted a girl, one that could prove all those jedi, senators and men out their that she is as strong as them, if not, stronger. And she would look just like you."

Padme laughed as well.

"Maybe if the war was over…" She started, her eyes sparkling.

"And maybe if the jedi council approved of our marriage…" He continued with just as much excitement.

"It could be a possibility." Padme said shyly.

"Maybe" Anakin said longingly.

He looked out the open window of his home and took in the full view of Corrusant. Reality dawned on him like a tonne of bricks.

Maybe just might not be enough.

* * *

 **Just incase you didn't figure it out this is all the messages the girl/Padme told Anakin**

 ** _Don't let the spinach man catch you or he'll turn you to the dark side:_ The spinach man is Palpatine, and the dark side is, the dark side. She's talking about Anakin's fall. (When my brother and I first watched the original Star Wars, we used to call Palpatine spinach man because thats what we thought he looked like :P)**

 _ **Always tell your best friend anything daddy. Your best friend loves you forever and ever. Why would you hurt your best friend?:**_ **This is talking about Anakin and Obi-Wan, and how Anakin should have told Obi-Wan about Padme from the start. At the end, she's talking about the final battle in ROTS, between the two.**

 _ **How much you trust me to tell me everything in that head of yours. My work mate just got a divorce because of trust issues. I'm glad we've never had that problem:**_ **In this dream, Anakin told Padme everything, it's also a forewarning that Anakin should tell her everything he's feeling.**

 _ **Daddy will win the game tomorrow won't he? He won't turn to the dark side?:**_ **The girl is asking him to not trust Palpatine and to not turn to the dark side. When dreamAnakin tells her he won't, she falls asleep therefore innocence obtained and peace remains in the galaxy.**

 **Yep, it's pretty deep! But I hope you enjoyed!**


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